BEDA: Day 5: I really need to move out

I am not really sure how I should begin this blog but today has been shit so far. And that is really sad since it is only 2:36 and I woke up about an hour ago. First, off my father came in and started bitching at my sister for not cleaning, even though she was cleaning. He then went on to say that no is allowed to eat unless we clean first, so therefore if we want to eat three times a day then we have to clean three times a day. After awhile of him bitching my sister started crying and my father then said how he wished he never had children.

Honestly, I wish he never had children either. He is a shitty father, doesn't care about anyone except himself, and could care even less about doing anything. My father is an asshole, and will always be an asshole, there is no way around it.

My mom was going to divorse him about 2 years ago but then decided that she was going to wait for Bri to graduate from high school. But that was before she got pregnant. Now her plan is to wait until Kenzie graduates from high school. Kenzie is 8 months old. I really hate my mom for doing this because I don't what Kenzie going through the same shit that Bri and I had to go through. I believe that if you are a parent and in a shitty relationship then you need to get out for the kids sake, it shouldn't matter what the hell you think; the children need to come first.

What I think is hilarious about my father is that he eats maybe 6 or 7 times a day meaing that he should be cleaning 6 or 7 times a day...guess what? He doesn't. We are lucky if he cleans once a week. And, another great thing of his little "rule" is that parents are supposed to give their children three things, clothing, shelter, and food. Otherwise it is considered child abuse. I have never said this to anyone before but I really want to get it out because I am sick and tired of holding it in...I do honestly believe that my father abuses Bri, my mother, and myself. Not like physical abuse, but emotional and mental abuse. I believe this because whenever he is having a shitty day or something doesn't go exactly as he planned it to, he will bitch at us for usually something we had no control over...and it is usually aimed at me. I could type so many different times that I have been yelled at, put down, called stupid, anything but I am positive that it would be as long as 3 of yesterday's post, just that alone.

I really need to move out because living here I am seriously afraid that it will kill me one day. It is way too stressful for me here and I am really getting tired of it. I do all that I fucking can and the only reason why my dad bitches at us so much is because his mother (bless her soul, and I loved her but still) cleaned up after him his ENTIRE life. He never had to clean his room, take care of his dishes after he was done eating, do chores, nothing. His mother did everything for him. I am pretty sure that because of this reason that he looks down on women and thinks that they are the only ones that can do anything.

I am really sorry for the emoness of this blog but I really just needed to get it out. DFTBA